Raj and the Liquor Menu

Raj in a dhaba / economy chinese restaurant:

R: Do u serve liquor?
Waiter: yes sir
R: What whisky do you have
Waiter: Sir we have...
R: Do you have Jack Daniels?
Waiter: No Sir
R: Then what do u have?
Waiter: RC, Blender Pride..
R: U got wine?
Waiter: yes Sir
R: Do you have Two Oceans 2000-2002?
Waiter: No Sir
R: Then what have u got?
Waiter: Golconda and Riviera
R: Do u have rum?
Waiter: Yes Sir
R: What do u have?
Waiter: Bacardi
R: No Dark Rum?
Waiter: yes sir..we have
R: Do u have Reserva?
Waiter : No sir
R: Get me an Old Monk with coke please.

Raj in a 5 star:


R: What have we got here...mmmm?
Waiter: Sir....
R: What whisky do you have
Waiter: Sir we have...
R: Do you have Jack Daniels?
Waiter: Yes, we do sir
R: Cool...What kind of wine do you have?
Waiter: Sir you must try Chenin Blanc - Sula's in the indian section....and ....
R: U got Two Oceans 2000-2002?
Waiter: yes Sir
R: Ah ok....mmmm Do u have rum?
Waiter: Yes Sir
R: What do u have?
Waiter: Erm....we have Bacardi..
R: Do u have Bacardi Reserva?
Waiter : yes Sir
R: Know what...just get me an Old Monk with Coke and top it up with ice.