Reverie

Today, my 'maternal' switch is put off. I can see my wee kid staring at me from my phone's wallpaper, but nothing stirs inside me. That doesn't for sure mean, i am off my kid or something - i had to add this line cause i know of some people who will only distort what i say. So continuing with what i started in my first sentence...

There is this strange 'wanderlust' pull within me. And this, i want to do all by myself. I want to see the world, explore it, smell it, feel it...ALL MY MYSELF. I don't want to wake up next to my family and pull them to dress up to go sight seeing; i don't want to think of breakfast for mish mash; i don't want to fight with r to wake up; I don't want to think for someone else. I want to be free, just for once.

I want to be by myself. I want to just strap a backpack, take a camera and buzz off. while, i know this post will attract some comments like - 'its just a phase' or 'once you take off you'll miss your loved ones..'...to them i wanna say- this is not a phase & these thoughts might be politically incorrect- but not 'wrong'.

(while i frantically type out my latest longing to get away...my mind decides to talk to me....and it tells me this:
Darn it! I chose to get married. I chose to have kids. I chose to get back to advertising. I chose this life. I chose every goddamn thing i am today. i am because i wanted to be this way. Why then don't i want to carry out the responsibilities i chose to take up? )

SNAP!

Wake up.

(Wormie, heard you won a lottery?? Care to spare some dough?)

Comments

Unknown said…
oh..i share the same wander lust kind of interest as in this post ...to wander all alone,be myself...and i get into this escape fantasy whenever i can ....

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