Ninth.

It takes very little to fall in love. But they say, it takes a lot  more to remain in love and with marriage, the job to remain in love only gets tougher.  Oh, yes, it does become a job. Especially when you reach a point in your relationship when both of you are busy with your other lives - 'more important' ones. At least that's what we think they are.  Paid jobs have to be more important, no? Equally or more important, fixing your child's play dates, summer holiday workshops so on and so forth. And somewhere in this maze we find time to be nice to each other, celebrate significant occasions (forced to sometimes, because on birthdays and anniversaries, you have to celebrate). So, over  weeks, months and years we keep up this act - barring minor disturbances like fights at the end of the day, some tu tu main main, etc.

And then comes a point when you pause. It could be an incident or a sheer stroke of luck that makes you stop for a bit, to reflect. About the years gone by. About how indespensible you've become to your partner and vice-versa. About how love is still in the air and how the meaning of the word in question,  hasn't really changed.

I think we are as much in love, if not more (the latter surely) after 9 years of being together legally, than we ever were. Sure, we haven't been to a pub in ages, neither did we take a holiday together that lasted more than 3 days. I'd much rather take off on my own than wait for him to plan a holiday. (Let's not even talk about how terrible he is with responsibilities and promises.)

The little things, however, are still intact. If I remember right, I fell in love with him because of these 'little things', but somewhere down the line I forgot all about those 'little things' and started confusing them with bigger things like habits, responsibilities, abilities, etc. That can be a tough one to unravel.

When we sit together at the end of a day, I'm glad he still likes to hold me, like he always has (with a slight change of  scrolling down emails on his BB with one hand and the other arm around me). Somethings don't change, even with time. Like how he still doesn't talk as much and expects me to do all the talking. And how our conversations deal a little too much with our 6 year old. I haven't changed all that much either. I still give him the pleasure of an animated conversation (I owe it all to Facebook and my virtual friends) and how I pick a fight dutifully, every night. There's this other thing- in 9 years I must've complained every other day about a zillion things about him, to him. But much to my annoyance and displeasure, he never has. Never. Just imagine the burden I'm carrying.

Who doesn't like success stories? Wins, triumphs, happy news. But the tougher ones to deal with are the losses. I think, he has fared far better on that front. The tough times. And God knows, we've had plenty and more of the same this year. That is when I realized, no matter how many times he let me down- when it came to a terrible loss, he was right next to me, never leaving my side for even a minute.  I don't think I can credit myself with that kind of loyalty and strength, not to forget his ability to crack me up in the midst of tears.

So, yes, things have changed. We are busier and we don't have the time to do things we planned to do a decade back. But, we are still the same. Immature, irresponsible adults, in love.  That's all that matters, no? Being in Love?

 Happy 9th, BBman.  Here's to little things that has made the big difference.