You tell
Pallavi's post on racism took me back to an incident I faced in Sydney a couple of months ago. I was working on a story for Condenast Traveller, on Sydney. Of the many places to visit in Sydney, I wanted to feature Chinese Laundry or Ivy Bar as one of the top night clubs to go to. I made my way to the place and introduced myself to the staff and asked for the manager. Before landing there, I had tried in vain to reach them via email or telephone.
Once there, a waitress asked me to wait. I did, for over half an hour (it was afternoon on a weekday ). I was running out of time. I decided to make my way inside to look for someone who could help me. I found the same waitress who had earlier spoken to me, walking down the stairs. She looked helpless (very scared too) and pointed me to the manager, busy inspecting the bar. It was evident that he was told of my visit, but refused to come see me, let alone know why I was there. I walked up to him and told the purpose of my visit. He looked at me from head to toe and asked in a very disinterested and derogatory manner- 'what is it that you need'? He hadn't apparently heard of Conde Nast Traveller magazine, and that he couldn't help me. I asked him if he could get me through to the PR or corp com manager of Merivale, the group that owned both the bars. He refused. He said, he didn't know. I further asked if he could give me the email id instead. By then he was walking away.
I could have taken this with a pinch of salt and forgotten about it. But the condescending manner in which he spoke and eyed me like I was a piece of shit, really got me. I was really upset and walked away with tears gleaming in my eyes. And that's exactly what I shouldn't have done. I behaved like a perfectly insipid woman. He had the right to not give me any information if he so wished (though I doubt he knew ANY darn thing). But he had NO right to treat me the way he did.
What do you think I could have done?
And I'm not sure how to categorize this incident. Racist?
You tell.
Once there, a waitress asked me to wait. I did, for over half an hour (it was afternoon on a weekday ). I was running out of time. I decided to make my way inside to look for someone who could help me. I found the same waitress who had earlier spoken to me, walking down the stairs. She looked helpless (very scared too) and pointed me to the manager, busy inspecting the bar. It was evident that he was told of my visit, but refused to come see me, let alone know why I was there. I walked up to him and told the purpose of my visit. He looked at me from head to toe and asked in a very disinterested and derogatory manner- 'what is it that you need'? He hadn't apparently heard of Conde Nast Traveller magazine, and that he couldn't help me. I asked him if he could get me through to the PR or corp com manager of Merivale, the group that owned both the bars. He refused. He said, he didn't know. I further asked if he could give me the email id instead. By then he was walking away.
I could have taken this with a pinch of salt and forgotten about it. But the condescending manner in which he spoke and eyed me like I was a piece of shit, really got me. I was really upset and walked away with tears gleaming in my eyes. And that's exactly what I shouldn't have done. I behaved like a perfectly insipid woman. He had the right to not give me any information if he so wished (though I doubt he knew ANY darn thing). But he had NO right to treat me the way he did.
What do you think I could have done?
And I'm not sure how to categorize this incident. Racist?
You tell.
Comments
However, I don't think this was racist. You mentioned that the waitress who had gone to fetch him also looked scared when she returned. So could be that the manager is the way he is with everyone? I assume that the waitress wasn't Indian?
There have been times when I have felt the same as you, but then thinking about it later on, I realize that the incidence had nothing to do with my race.
I also read Pallavi's post which you have linked.
Let me tell you, I live in Chatswood, where I have to pass by a Car Wash center on the way to home from the Chatswood station. At any point of time there are Indian guys(around 5 at least) cleaning cars in the center.
AND I have lost count of how *many* times they have passed lewd comments on me ? There are times when I cross the road just to avoid those guys. They are Indians (not blacks) and they are targeting Indian woman!
I can't label this racism - they are Indians after all(!!) - but this is worse than that I think !
Rupa
What you could have done? Maybe escalate the issue. Calmly. Found a person above that particular manager, pursued the matter that you had gone for originally and in the course of the conversation brought up the manager's behavior as well. I generally do that when I face bad customer service. I don't think I have come across racism. I find someone above the person who has troubled me and report the matter and leave it at that. After that it is really up to them to either pay heed or nor.
Write a letter to the corp comm, head of business, branch head telling them about the behaviour of this guy. Highlight that places which are based on service and a part of the industry need to have people who have people skills and not morons.
It might nor might not be racism, you are the best judge.But believe me no one, has the right to behave the way he did.....u must report...its never to late
Like Rupz has said here, there are lots of Indian men who behave the same way, but MY reality is that I have found this pattern in a certain group of men, but not in others. So, that is MY truth, and something that I have to deal with. If I get prickly and wary when I see someone from that 'group' then am I a racist?! Maybe I am. Maybe not. Who knows!
Rupa: Indians eve-teasing other Indian women is equally racist. MY QUESTION IS: WOULD THEY BEHAVE IN THE EXACT SAME MANNER WITH A WHITE WOMAN? Why are they more respectful or atleast more decent with a white woman? Why is an Indian woman an easy prey? And if an Indian woman is biased BECAUSE of such incidents, does that make her a racist?!!!!
@pallavi: I disagree that white women are not easy targets. They are equally vulnerable. Remember those rape and murder cases in Goa? White women feel as insecure in India as you felt when you were teased. Its all about crooked men and their attitude :)
About white women being targetted in India, why that is terribly racist too!!!! Racism is everywhere, KG.
Why do we try to ignore it? Why sweep it under the carpet? Why not talk about it, and have a lively discussion instead? Even if it does not change the situation, it will help people be more aware?
Writing that post certainly helped me in many ways. I feel more confident now.
I read it last night but did not comment.
I do not believe this incident was racist but in general Australia is a racist place. My assessment is not based on reading newspapers but actually living in Sydney for three years.
Australians are friendly on the surface but if you are colored you are only good for talking and nothing more...
The worst experience I've had in Aus ironically has been at the Indian Consulate where they treated me like shit because I spoke in English rather than Marathi or Hindi. Very dismissive and very short...no white Australian has treated me like in these 6 years.
Its a tough question to answer, A.
Welcome here, btw. :) How's America?
@A - there are racist people everywhere - India, Middle East, Europe, Americas and even Australia. But having lived in all of the places mentioned above - I think Australians are the most friendly / easy going bunch of people I have mingled with. I really like the Australian attitude towards a multicultural society. May be I have been meeting all the right people ..
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