Remind me please..

why did we move away from India? What brought us here? Fresher air? More space? What does one mean by better quality of life? How does the quality of life get any better without family and friends? Friends. Where are they? I don't even know what it means to hang out any more. Adda is merely a nostalgic sounding word.
No really, remind me, why did we move away,again? It is over a year since I met my parents. I feel dead. I feel like I exist and live only virtually. There is no real me anywhere. I don;t really live any more.

Why did we choose a life devoid of friends and family? The greenery is getting to me. The spotlessness of this place is nauseous.

I quit. Take me back. I want to be home.

Comments

Well...that sounds like 'home sick' to me! Sorry to hear you low...!!! Would it help if I said the grass always looks green on the other side?
Many of us choose to stay away from adda (back home) as it's so insipid with overdose of it...call on family and they not around...noise, pollution (running around hospitals almost every 15 days), corruption, bad infrastructures that lead to loss of time, puppets who are dancing to the tunes of this bad bad bad 3rd world country!!!!

Errr...a short round trip ticket will help you get over your blues...trust me...

:) hope you get back to yourself soon!

Cheer up! A big bear hug...
D said…
:( I know the feeling. No place like home.
Desi Chai said…
OMG!They were so my thoughts!!!Can I make you some adrak ki chai?That always feels home...
~G said…
Did *I* just right that post? I understand when you say 'where are the friends' even though I am not as far away from home as you are.
:(
Amrit said…
KG,

You seem very low and frustrated. Take is easy. Indians move for economic reasons - to make more money - that is it.

Initially it is tough but then it becomes tough to back to India once you are used to life style in your new world.

Where do you live in Sydney?
Anonymous said…
I hear you, KG. I feel the same way every Sunday. Come weekdays and I make myself forget.
Unknown said…
i feel the same...and i am in India!!! it has nothing to do with where you are i feel...it is just how our lives have become...even here...the friends from long ago are no longer in the same city...or even country...if you come back what is the guarantee that your friends won't move...cuz they will and your can't stop them...this is today..blame the present times....i agree...i don't know what it means to hang around anymore! all i know and you should too....HANG IN THERE!!!!
Anonymous said…
where are you?
And yeah, I get it. Sucks being without loved ones around. Hope things get better soon.
Discovering M said…
It's 1 AM here and KG - you did it.. now you got me home sick too !! :(
Primitive Lyric said…
I understand, because I felt that way when I was in London. After the excitement of seeing the place and indulging in all the activity, I finally wanted home. So when Adiv came, we were clear that we wanted him growing amidst family. Now he gets to see his grandparents and extended family, and nothing beats that I guess.
Come over to Chennai...we can hang out..!!Im sure you will feel better once you get back..
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
This post reminded me of my mom and of the Mohiner Ghoraguli'r song "Ghoraa Pheraar Gaan."

Choley aaie.
Casuarina said…
I know exactly how you feel.

Hug.

I've stopped bitching about Kolkata, ever since I spent one lonely, frustrating, jobless bitter winter in New Jersey, USA, in 2008-9.

Try a vacation, if possible.
Devi said…
Join the club!!Am going through the same phase..
KitchenKarma said…
Hi,

I was just browsing through the blog world when I stumbled upon your blog.

What you wrote completely resonates with me! I have been living in the UK for the last two years and the sheer loneliness of this life is so draining!

I am fed up with online relationship and telephone chats...I want to see my people, touch them, hold them, hug them...smell the air (however polluted it maybe), be glad of a traffic jam, and revel in the chaos and the confusion...

But then like you I remind myself of the reasons I am in London and try and make peace with my life!

Tomorrow is a better day!

Suchi
Joe Pinto said…
My dear KG,

Great warm love and a big hug from your teacher. Hang in there, KG. If it's any consolation, I was stamped "accompanying wife" on my passport in 1990 and survived three years in the grey, wet, damp and cold of Leeds, Yorkshire, England.

I have narrated in my blog how I survived by creating my own world. I had my wife (who was doing a PhD) and a three year-old daughter (who I had come to take care of).

Slowly and painfully, I extracted a few precious friends (local and of Indian origin) from the chaotic mess of racist garbage that Leeds was. Every one of them are friends today too. And with a little help from friends like them, I finally pulled through and survived.

I was a young 39 when I left India for England and became an old 42 when I returned in three years!!!

I am writing an introspective on reaching the age of 60 on 5 March 2011. I shall write at length about this sad and lost part of my life and, having written it, I shall dedicate that section to you, dear KG, knowing full well that you have it in you to hang in there and --- survive.

Peace and love,
- Joe.
Rupz said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rupz said…
I am going through the same phase KG .. And unfortunately it sucks !!

But I guess one can't do anything !

Maybe we should hang out :) A bottle of wine would solve everything ;)
And this is exactly why I turn to the internet time and again. Because it talks back to me. It hears me and empathizes with me. Loves me back. If the virtual world was a city, i'd be it's first resident :). Thank you all so much for you comments. Made me think. Though not entirely convinced that I need to make peace with my current state, I have little choice. A holiday certainly seems like the best way out of this :).

We didn't come to Australia for economic reasons. The reasons were entirely different. Lack of family life in India was the first reason. we never were together as a family. we led busy lives, constant work stress, lack of weekend de-stressing options. 'Balanced life' is a difficult thing to attain in my lovely India. come to think of it, when in India, despite having so many friends, we never did meet up because the very thought of driving through the traffic to go a 3-4 km distance was a nightmarish experience. Now sitting here i feel like doing all of it. I'm willing to sit for hours in the traffic to meet that one friend.

Yes, the grass is indeed greener on the other side. :)

thanks much fellas. And those who are feeling as blue as I am, a big virtual hug your way. We'll pull through this, we will!:)
@sanjana: we are in Sydney. Beautiful city :).
Debanjana said…
Really really homesick huh?...when are you going to visit India? Didn't ask that question to make you feel bad...Just that I feel the same most of the times...so wanted to know...
Scribbler :) said…
Just back from a month-long break in India...and this post makes me grab the 10th box of tissues in the last 3 days.
seriously, why are we here?
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