Rant.

The hardest and the worst thing, of being married with a child, perhaps, is the inability to let go of them sometimes and take a break yourself. This rings true of men and women who are dependent on their spouses, financially and are emotionally too attached. I’d really like to take off on a holiday for a couple of days all by myself. Just a few days. Mishmash and Raj, both mean the world to me, but getting away for a person like me is important. It was easier when I was in India and working, when I got my monthly breaks in the form of overnight Mumbai- Delhi trips. But here, I’m stuck at home mostly. I do get out, but only to come back to cook some more or pick up strewn socks, books, toys and clothes.

I woke up this morning to a terrible migraine. This comes a day after 2 days of terrible pain owing to my slip disc and 3 and a half weeks of pollen allergy induced cold, fever and horrible bouts of sneezing. I was so done today. I wanted to run to ma. I shy away from talking about my illnesses sometimes for I can see in friends and acquaintances a look, that doesn’t anymore want to give me the benefit of doubt. I dislike being called a weakling and I’m trying my best to make myself healthier. I exercise, eat healthy and am cheerful. I pursue my hobbies actively. I do my bit.  But at times you indeed feel cheated when despite everything you do, these little aches are back, and people sympathise with my husband more instead of giving me a nod of understanding, for reasons not very foreign to our Indian mentality. I don’t need sympathy, but maybe if people around me are a little more sensitive and understanding, I’d feel better. I indeed look forward to the day when Paracetamol is not bought as part of our monthly grocery list. :) No one revels in being sick. And I’m most certainly not a hypochondriac. It is just unfortunate that I fall sick in Australia more often owing to the climate, and I’m doing everything I can to make friends with it :).

 

But for now, I really want to be away for a few days from this domestic humdrum. And I’m restless to achieve all those dreams, I dream all day long. I take no solace in being content with what I have. I must get those dreams fulfilled and do that quick.

Those who come back to reading this space, am sorry about such a morose post. But I had to rant somewhere. And being far from home, I’m so starved for company. So, bear with me, a little more.