Rate Me

KG: How much on a scale of 1 to 10, will you rate me-  for the way I was during our dating days, and now, post marriage.

R: This is a trick question.

KG: Shut up and answer.

R: I fared well in your quiz on FB, highest so far. why do you need me to rate you?

KG: You cheated. Also, there’s no connection here. Just rate me, its a kind of reality check. Promise I wont be upset.

R; Upset? Meaning, you already know I’ll rate you bad.

KG:  I meant I wont be upset if u rate me bad, that’s not a reason for u to deliberately test me.

R: Ok. Pre dating days- 9 on 10. Post shaadi, 4/10.

KG: what crap…you are doing this deliberately.

R: Accept it. Not joking.

KG: On what basis did you like me 9 on 10 then? I am still as irritating and aggressive.

R: I am not having this conversation.

KG: I just wanna know why. It hurt, you know..

R: That, exactly is your problem. You don’t keep your promise.

KG: For all that I did for you, and for loving you so blindly, this is what i get

R: There there there

KG: And what of the sudden I love you’s, and those gifts. I notice suddenly there is an increase in these sudden surprise gifts. A woman can sense these things you know.

R: we are getting late, lets go out.

KG: I am not in a mood. I mean, after 8 years you saying that. You are seeing someone else. And you are diverting the topic.

R: Stop this Konkonapanti.

KG: Just accept it. I am not going anywhere.

R: Ammma- I was joking amma. Having one woman in my life itself is a nightmare. Besides, I can’t even imagine bypassing you for another- its too much stress, babe.

KG: 4/10? How could you?

R: It was a joke, almost.

KG: Huh? Almost. Which part was not a joke?

R: Hey listen, lets have lunch at Hyderabad House? Long time, na. meeeeeeeeeeeeeeshu, chalo, we are going out in the car.

KG: *sulk*

R: Are u coming or not?

KG: *sulk*

R: 10/10 babe. You are the only one. Praaamise.

KG: We are not done, remember that. I am coming, only for the biriyani. Don’t be fooled that your sudden 10/10 made me happy.

 

(This is my best bet- I pick up a topic and steer it to a direction where I am sure, there will be a fight and at the end of it, food. how else, did u think, I’d get the biriyani? He was planning on watching cricket the entire day )

Constructed with stray bits of conversation, here and there, to suit my post and mood. You can call it distortion of sequence. :D