Of Indian Beauty Parlours and Maamis

Decided to check out an 'Indian' beauty parlour.  In the midst of the very urban and uber chic Orchard road, stood this 'plaza'. [One quick  observation - plazas in Singapore often comprise of small time shops - fake electronic goods, cheap watches, souvenier shops, Indian darzis,  etc.] This parlour was recommended by a Mallu friend , but I had forgotten the name of the shop, so decided to check  every floor till I come across a familiar sounding/Indian name. Sleepy massage parlours, a specialised 'males only' waxing place that offered Brazilian wax(!), and dimly lit tailor shops dotted the first floor. I was having second thoughts about this ' plaza' but instinct told me to continue my search . The escalater took me to the second floor and I smelt something familiar. It was a faint smell and I decided to give my olfactory nerves a chance. The smell got stronger and I soon knew it was insence and within seconds I was walking into a cloud of smoke. MS Subbulakshmi's Suprabhatam played in the background. Jesus, Mary, Ganesha, Aishwarya, Sonali Bendre, Kajol - all stared at me from their respective walls. . Pochampally bedsheets covered with plastic, assorted machines waiting to steam, clean, wash their customers, and a stack of Tamil magazines lay strewn in a corner. I waited for someone to emerge from somewhere. I was in no hurry. I looked at the plastic flowers in a vase . The place reminded me of the parlour next to our place in Hyderabad. Then she appeared- a lady, about 40... oiled hair, in a simple cotton salwar kameez.

She - 'ess. What do you want?'

Me- 'threading, please'.

She- 'come sit . whats your name?'

Me- Aparna

She -  ok ABARNA. New-aa? 

Me- erm yes. 

She- wait pleasss. 

Out of no where a very noisy person enters the parlour. An old lady,  gleaming bright, walks in and starts talking to the parlour's caretaker/owner. A barrage of words and sentences followed. I tried to keep pace with this lyrical outpour of very loudly and rapidly spoken language.  From whatever broken Tamil I understood, I realised she had come straight from the dentist after her root canal for 'henna dye'. Then followed a very animated  conversation with me in the middle, while she spoke to her -Aijjyooo, something something...parava illiya..something..seri..something something. Oooo 200 dollars aa? ..something something apadiya...aamaa, seri seri.

All this while, I was  listening to the whole thing, with a lot of interest. I forgot that I was asked to wait while she continued her banter with her friend. There was more talk - some neice of her's from America had lost a lot of weight. Maatram vegetables diet. 

'Ahem. Can I get my threading done please?' .

'Ess ess. One minute, can you sit. I will come in 5 minutes. Poor thing see, she got root canal. I will put henna and then do for you fast fast'. [she flashed the nicest smile. How could I say no?]

I settled down with a few magazines. Tried looking for a Femina or something in English. Found a half-Tamil half-English magazine called IMN (Indian Movie News). Got some beauty tips in a film magazine- on how to make your 'dandruff go off' and learnt how 'hair will shine superb'. A lady called Mahalakshmi Kamalakannan wrote this absolutely intense piece of beauty advice. Read a bit more about Mani Retnam's' Magnum Opus 'Ponniyin Selvan', and about this 'i'm too sexy for my shirt hero , Jeyram Ravi who acted in some Kaadhal movie (just curious, how many Tamil movies begin/end with that word?).

By this time, Suprabhatham was over, Bhavayami continued in background. I decided to close my eyes and listen. Just then,  I was summoned. 'Abarna. Come. Let us finish off with your eyebrosss!'. I came out and saw Maami with henna on her head. As she plucked my brow, Maami, began a new topic. I was too distracted (and in pain) to concentrate on what she said. She was done in 5 mins flat. Perfect!

As I left this plaza, I was strangely satisfied. [If only she had offered me a cup of filter Kaapi]. I was just so taken by this out of the blue Maami-outfit in the middle of Singapore's most happening street, that I had no time to be cynical. I laughed as I passed by Gucci, Guess, Hermes, Marc Jacobs...the usual boring stuff.  

Singapore, surprise me more pliss!